Integrating your wife’s boyfriend into your family can be part of your lifestyle.
It may be of benefit to readers to read ‘Family Friendly Cuckolding‘ (opens in a new tab/window) before continuing on here to have some additional perspective on the topic before continuing. [/box]
Just as the idea of a husband openly embracing his wife taking a lover once seemed unimaginable, so too does it seem impossible to consider the wife’s boyfriend spending quality time with the wife, including overnight stays, in the marital bed. This is especially true for couples with children who fear their lifestyle could have a very negative impact on their children, but the reality for most couples can be quite the opposite.
- Kids from a cuckold/hotwife marriage who aren’t afforded a window into that relationship are left to needlessly suffer the same struggles of self-discovery as their parents
As a society, we tend to hide or lie about anything that would be shameful if known. Having a loving, communicative marriage that is capable of this lifestyle is anything but shameful. A couple who have transcended the confines of an artificially restricted social/sexual paradigm can and should be proud of their marriage and lifestyle.
It only makes sense to be conservative about the practice of extramarital relationships at first; neither of you know exactly how well it will go, how far it will go or how long it will last. For couples who find themselves involved long-term with a second male (boyfriend) who has clearly added significant enjoyment and erotic energy to a marriage through the pleasure and joy he’s brought the couple, the term ‘extramarital’ is quite obsolete as he has become part of the marriage whether you realize it or not. Realizing, acknowledging and leveraging the reality that he has become integrated into your marriage is the first step toward integrating him into the family.
A man this welcome inside her should be welcome in the marital bed.
Perspective
Making the boyfriend welcome at home is not just empowering for the wife, but empowering for the boyfriend. Only a foolish hotwife would refuse if the husband is willing to accept the more overt submission required when the couple recognize her boyfriend as their Alpha male in the home.
Most states have laws in place against explicit outdoor activity where it can be seen by neighbors, but most do allow for simple nudity.
The many benefits to the wife coupling with her boyfriend at home; in the couples’ marital bed (or the living room, the kitchen, the shower, the pool) are often overlooked or discarded based on either misconceptions about the risks of a hotwife developing a deeper bond with her boyfriend, out of fear of anyone else knowing about their relationship, a desire to keep any hint of this from children – or a bit of all of the above. While these reactions are commonplace and somewhat natural in our current society, they are not necessarily the best choice, the healthiest choice or most practical choice once a wider perspective is provided.
- The bond between hotwife and boyfriend is never a risk to the marriage unless the marriage was already at risk
- Unless you openly confirm your lifestyle to others, the most they’ll be able to do is speculate and gossip – which they do anyway, regardless of the truth
- You don’t ask friends and neighbors their opinion of other important marital, financial or family decisions, so why should you care about their opinion on this?
- kids are far more resilient and adaptable than given credit for
- boys come to understand how they can be successful in a relationship whether they are the bull or the cuckold
- girls come to understand they can marry for love and not compromise being compete as a woman
Often these lessons are only partially appreciated at younger ages, but become invaluable to them as adults when these situations begin to develop. For them, the struggle to consider relationships ‘outside the box’ will come much easier and with much less anxiety.
Integration Benefits
Integration can enable this scene every week as she deserves instead of only once a month.
While parents understand the concept of setting a positive example for their children in most aspects of life, many parents also draw a big red box around all topics related to sexuality. Sometimes that’s because they don’t know what to say or how to say it and for others it’s about a belief that kids should have to figure these things out for themselves. This obviously leaves them in the same difficult place many of you reading this find yourselves in now: struggling with the reality you feel about yourselves and the perspective forced upon you by society. Setting a responsible example with regard to a healthy marital relationship that includes two males rather than one can help ensure they have a wider perspective should they face such decisions on their own one day.
When a couple invites a boyfriend into the marriage for the wife’s direct benefit and the husband’s indirect benefit, the opportunity for their children to learn invaluable lessons through observation and intuition are numerous and important.
- interracial relationships are just as valid as any other (in cases of interracial lifestyle choice)
- understanding and expressing a sexual role (whether dominant or submissive) has value
- a submissive role is no less valuable than a dominant one
- women need not choose between a stable relationship and a sexually fulfilling one
- jealousy is natural; allowing it to control you is a choice
- women should never be ashamed of their sexuality and/or the expression of it
Though a couple’s bull can be any race, I chose to illustrate this article using a black/white theme because I’ve often seen couples hide their lifestyle more because of the interracial aspect than because they have kids – or hide it from their kids more because she has a black boyfriend rather than because she has a boyfriend. This is not only racist, but completely counter to the mission of every parent to impart ethics upon their kids by setting an appropriate example.
Public dating is even more appropriate as an interracially committed couple.
Often the best encouragement couples not yet active in the lifestyle have is witnessing other couples enjoying success. This is another reason why public dating is so important.
Perspective Matters
Lacking other information, the natural reaction to perceived change is suspicion and fear. Most couples with children feel this lifestyle must, at all costs, be kept hidden from the children and while I would agree that children have no place being privy to explicit sexual activity, a lie by omission isn’t usually the best course either. In my own experience, what kids fear most is marital trouble. As I discuss in my “Family Friendly Cuckolding” article, even the most diligent attempts at screening this lifestyle from your kids can fail due to their keen sense of perception and observation. The key to preventing this fear as well as educating them on the value of a trusting, loving marriage is using their powers of observation in a positive, constructive manner instead of allowing it to foster fears of the unknown.
Age Considerations
Parents tend to forget to apply an ‘age filter’ when considering the reactions and perspectives of their children to such a change in the marriage. Kids have a limited sphere of ‘give a shit’ and stuff they’re simply not ready for or interested in will largely be something they care very little about.
A 7 yr old may notice the shiny new SUV and like how it looks and that they have their own TV in it now, but if you explained the hybrid motor and satellite navigation, you’re going to get the deer in headlights look, right? Same thing when it comes to the relationships of adults; they’re simply not looking at things with the same critical eye that you are.
- under 5: kids this age are oblivious to the realities of adult interactions, sexual or otherwise
- 5 – 8: have only a vague understanding of relationships, ‘boyfriend’ and ‘girlfriend’ are somewhat understood, but certainly not seen as something sexual
- 9-12: have a better understanding of relationships, but still largely ambivalent about adult relationships unless perceived as a threat
- 12/15: old enough and socialized enough to easily assume the worst about mom having a close, male friend, but young enough to learn a different perspective than that forced on them by society
- 15+: starting to learn more mature social stereotypes and though initially more resistant to such ideas, but age and reasoning allow for better processing of what they do learn.
These ages are a generalization to illustrate the differences in how kids will view a relationship change within the marriage and family and don’t reflect the individual differences in a child’s mental or emotional development.
The Importance Of Observation
Instead of allowing a child’s innate observation skills to lead them into making false assumptions, use their powers of observation to prove that you two are happier and more stable than ever because your marriage has expanded in this way. Instead of having to figure out a way to bring up the topic and discuss it in terms they’ll understand and appreciation, you allow small acts and behaviors to express that for you.
Observation begins long before children first meet the boyfriend. It begins when the couple learns to quit hiding mention of him and casually refer to him in conversations among the children. This introduces the name and the fact that he’s a friend to both mother and father. The casual reminder by the husband of his wife having lunch with ‘him’ on Saturday, for example, demonstrates that he’s someone the father is comfortable with his wife being alone with. This behavior opens the idea of the wife’s dating behavior without it even seeming like dating.
When children are exposed to the couples’ shared excitement during the planning and anticipation of this ‘friend’ coming to dinner, they become part of that excitement and see such an event as something positive rather than foreboding and they subconsciously attribute more importance to this guest.
Wearing stockings will be largely irrelevant to young kids, but certainly not for either the cuckold or her boyfriend.
When he arrives, the husband welcomes him, shakes his hand and eagerly welcomes him into the home. Once introduced to the kids, the wife can make her entrance, assured that all are gathered together. With her family gathered together, a hotwife should welcome her boyfriend in an uninhibited manner. She should press her whole body to his, kiss him passionately, and welcome his embrace of her while they kiss. This behavior is necessary for the boyfriend and the kids.
- from the kids’ perspective, such a greeting is obviously far more than a casual welcome
- from the boyfriend’s perspective such a greeting, in front of the entire family, is an open demonstration of the couples commitment and the husband’s support
The boyfriend will have been prepared for this welcome through the coaching the wife gives him prior to the event, but experiencing it for himself will be very empowering and give him an immediate sense of welcome. The second part of that welcome is how the hotwife has chosen to dress for dinner with him present. When a boyfriend arrives at the couples’ home, he’s going to be on ‘high alert’ because it’s awkward at best (at first) and potentially dangerous if she’s not been entirely honest about her husband’s support for this. The best and most effective way of dealing with this is to make sure her boyfriend can’t mistake the welcome he’s given when he arrives.
It should be the wife who initially answers the door and welcomes him in. Directly behind her, a few feet, to not seem protective or intrusive, should be the husband, smiling and happy to see him. With him should be the kids so you are seen to be welcoming him into the home as a family.
How She’s Dressed
Communicating her role as a hotwife and confirming his as her boyfriend simply by how she’s dressed for him.
Families have guests from time to time. Most often it is other family or friends of the parents’. It must be apparent from how the wife is dressed – and from the obvious time and effort put into her getting ready, that this is not one of those occasions. This simple act communicates numerous facts to different parties without a word needing to be said. The boyfriend, being welcomed into the home, sees his girlfriend clearly dressed to appeal to and arouse him – something a woman would never do in front of her husband if he’s not 100% supportive of what’s going on. Could this cause some anxiety for the wife and mother who has not dressed very suggestively at home before? Perhaps, but how do you think the husband feels in terms of anxiety when welcoming the boyfriend into the home? Share the effort.
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- Fully covered, yet beautifully displayed; this would make a great second or third dinner outfit choice for the wife with children.
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- Overtly sexual, this choice is suitable for the couple without children as well as couples well into the integration.
In the first example above it’s easily noticed that her breasts are bare beneath the knit dress, yet they are not overtly displayed. Her body is displayed only teasingly through the weave of the dress and her panties are slightly visible. This is definitely not something mom wears for dinner when the neighbors are over for dinner and definitely not something a woman wears for a man she’s not intimate with or not wanting to be intimate with.
Casual Intimacy
Not sexually explicit, but clearly expresses the nature of their relationship without discussion being needed.
To properly leverage the situation, the hotwife and her boyfriend must be aware of and in the practice of observing small acts of casual intimacy. These can be things like how close she stands to him when talking to him, touching one another in a lingering way and openly flirting. These things have to be forced at first since instinct dictates that a wife and a boyfriend display as little affection as possible around others, but in this scenario, these acts, performed while the husband is present, reinforce the observation of these acts as casual and natural given the husband’s presence and lack of reaction to them.
In the example above, left, her boyfriend arrived on time to pick her up for their date, but she was running behind schedule. She did the right thing by going to him and greeting him properly as she was. Doing so without her husband present would have been inappropriate as it could be assumed she only responded that way because he wasn’t present. To do so with him present reinforces that he sees this behavior as natural and expected leaving the kids to assume the same.
Being comfortable in various states of undress around him should be relatively simple by this point as she has had to learn to dress appropriately as a hotwife to meet his expectations and to communicate both their intimacy and her husband’s support of their bond through that behavior.
Taking The Integration Path
Each couple/family will have their own timeline to this and their own variations, but the process and the necessary ‘moving parts’ will be common to most couples taking this path.
Family Introduction
The first stage is introducing the boyfriend to the family. Expressing casual intimacies, remaining outwardly calm and ensuring she’s dressed in proper hotwife attire for her boyfriend are all very important at this stage.
Dating Out
Dating out builds on the foundation established after the boyfriend has spent a time or two at the home. Casual mention of the upcoming date communicates the couples’ shared excitement for the pending date removing any doubt the husband is supportive. Dressing in an outwardly appealing manner removes doubt about the intimate nature of the relationship (for older kids). The father’s presence and calm exterior make it seem business as usual.
Dating In
Inviting the boyfriend to dinner without plans for a public date afterward is the next stage in making the boyfriend’s presence a more integrated part of family life. After dinner, the cuckold should focus on cleaning up dinner, perhaps with the assistance of the kids, allowing the wife and her boyfriend to have a few minutes of time together to discuss how things are going and remind each other of the importance of expressing casual intimacies. In early stages, the wife and her boyfriend won’t go to bed until the kids are not present (either because they are younger and in bed, or because they’re older and doing their own thing). As these nights become more routine, it could be expected that the boyfriend will decide when he’s ready to take her to bed and will simply do so, leaving the husband to tend to the children, if needed.
Overnight
Don’t fear overnight stays. One of the biggest benefits to having the boyfriend welcome in the home is removing late night driving by your wife or her boyfriend – especially if drinking was involved. This also extends to when the boyfriend is at your place. It’s a good opportunity to explain to the kids that there was drinking last night and he was in no condition to drive and that’s why he’s still there and joining you for breakfast.
Sleeping arrangements can vary a lot. Even in a king-sized bed, three adults don’t often fit well asleep in it given the tossing and turning. If that works, great, if not, perhaps room can be made in the master bedroom for a daybed or recliner to give the cuckold a comfortable place from which to observe the coupling and remain in the room overnight.
Cuckold Marriage Sleeping Arrangements
Answering Questions
Parents are often terrified of the questions their kids might ask. The rule of thumb is to keep answers simple and direct to the point of the question. Younger kids’ questions are usually very basic in nature and easily deflected if inappropriate. Older kids are unlikely to ask questions they already have answers to – answers you’ve provided silently through behaviors like their expression of casual intimacies.
The second or third time I was over for dinner with that couple mentioned earlier, their daughter asked me “Are you my mom’s boyfriend?” She was obviously not asking it in an accusatory tone, but rather as a curious kid who had no idea of the sexual connotation of an adult woman having a boyfriend. I simply asked her if that was ok with her without actually answering the direct question. “I guess so,” she said with a shrug.
If you have done well expressing this relationship in your behavior, kids will have little need for asking questions because they will intuitively understand the important lessons through observation. When they do ask questions, be honest, but limit yourself to answering the question in its most basic form.
Caveats
An article like this has to contain a rather significant cautionary caveat that every family situation, every couple and every child is different. To discuss your unique situation, stop by the chatroom or complete the form below to start a discussion with me.
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Luvr,
a great article, most you told us before and we did, was so concern how our daughter would react to mom having a boyfriend, and my role and all. But after a talk with her mom and some basic questions, our daughter seems to almost say, that’s cool, and move on. No questions or asking details and all. Colleens boyfriend has been over for dinner and such, hasn’t stayed over yet, but that more my wife’s idea, but she has stayed over his place now, and no need to have a “story” for our daughter.
Just…… WOW. On one hand goign beyond sex is arousing and comforting with being able to do so at home doubtless a plus for those with kids. On the other hand, I think those “first time” outfits are way to high on the sexy/slutty scale to work. They need to be more demure but nice blouses, etc. Her going on a night on the town type dress that they’ve seen previously ok.
A hotwife’s outfit should never be ‘demure’ for a date, whether at home or in public. What the appropriate level of sexy is for a hotwife will vary widely depending on such things as how commonplace various states of undress or nudity is around the home and the relative maturity of the kids. The entire point of dressing her more risque among family is to communicate wordlessly that this is an intimate relationship, the father is complicit and this is all something the couple want in the open.
Hi Luvr,
Great post, I’m not sure how I would integrate this with our 16 yr old daughter. e & b mollaie started down this past a few months ago, how is it going for them?
If you and your wife, or more importantly at this age, your wife has a good relationship with your daughter, it will likely be rather easy. When it’s difficult is when parents have contentious relationships with their teens (as can often be the case). As long as you can still openly communicate with her and her default position isn’t finding fault with you and everything you do, you should be well-positioned to allow her to observe the positive benefits of such a lifestyle.
Very clever article and has many levels in it, each situation is unique
I can’t see how a cuckold would have anything against her bringing a boyfriend into their relationship. If she shows and proves to her cuckold that he is the one she will always come home to and desire to be with even after her sexual freedom, how can there be an fear or worry? If she is going to leave you she will leave you no matter what happens or don’t happen. If she desires her lover to spend the night sometimes (but not to often) what is wrong with that? If the cuckold can’t sexually please his woman why make her do without the pleasures she deserves. Morning sex is a wonderful thing and she must have that sometimes. I don’t think any lover should move in with the couple as I can’t see that ever really working out. I strongly feel the woman should respect her cuckold and bring or have all her lovers have sex with her in the couples home. This will comfort the cuckold and see, hear and or witness her pleasures lessening any jealousy the cuckold may feel. This is team work, so each person in this team most work towards making each feel they are important in their roles. As long as the cuckold wears a chastity device in the presence of the lovers, the lover should never feel his sexuality is in danger or threatened. The lovers and the cuckold must have time to become good friends and realize each are there for the same purpose, that is to pleasure the woman. Each may have a different role but both are seeking the same goal. Every woman must have several sexual partners just as much as she should have a faithful, understanding and willing cuckold by her side. Thank you, Glenn
I did forget to address one important issue. As far as children are concerned. I feel the children should be introduced to this lifestyle and the lovers arrangement in the matter of their ages suggest. Boys must be taught that this is the way women will expect to live when he grows up and learn he must accept sharing her. Girls must be taught that she is a dominate gender and she must enjoy the sexual freedom that she desires when she grows up. I feel the boys should grow up with the understanding that they must submit to their sisters as will as the mom or step mom. Girls must be taught to properly train their brothers and witness spankings given to their dad as well as the her brothers. When she reaches a certain age she must be trained to give spankings. They must be trained this is a family only affair and it is never to be discussed with anyone until they are old enough. Mom’s sexuality and dads submission (cuckoldry) must be shared with the kids as a part of life not as a weird way to live. I also think home nudity should be practiced once a week and increase to twice and more when they are growing up. The cuckolds chastity device must be shown and explained the need. The boys must know that when they reach a certain age, they will get their first chastity device to wear daily. The sister shall get a key to the boys and to dads to hold, wear and or protect and be taught of that important role she now has. The earlier kids are taught about female led relationships the faster this will become the new normal and the better this world will become. Every relationship will finally have respect and love that has lacked for centuries with male led. Thank you, Glenn
great post!!! it’s an ideal situation when the relationship between the BF and the hotwife reach a point where the BF is welcomed in the house of the hotwife and cuck. He should be able to come over and spend and evening or a weekend if it’s convenient for the BF and hotwife. It’s a good way to get connected and have everyone reach a point in the arrangement where everyone is comfortable with what’s going on.
This post is what first brought us to this site, as we are currently taking steps to integrate my Dom into our family. Reading this was a great help and put our minds at ease about many things. We’d love to connect with others here that have experience or advice on this subject.
Hi Amber and Eric!
It was great that you replied here. It takes a lot of courage and a strong committed marriage and family along with a committed and caring Dom to work towards integration.
My wife has been cuckolding me with the same man for 5 years now and we have worked a lot towards integration. We are so much happier now and everyone has adjusted so well. There have been a few bumps along the way, but we are all so much better for it now.
I dearly hope that you experience the same success as we had. We would love to be able to connect with you too! I am not sure how that would work through the group though, or even if it is allowed to share email addresses.
Take care!
What an excellent post luvr. This takes a while to develop doesn’t it and yet I suspect that it is the sexiest thing for the hot wife. The woman that I am seeing is exploring this with me now. Its for her about reassigning the nest, determining how things are arranged in the close circle of the homestead. She is becoming increasingly confident about it. The last week she said to her husband in front of me, ‘why don’t you go on that golfing break next weekend, so that Jezz can enjoy me.’ Interestingly it was worded as a suggestion, but the intonation of voice was firmer than that. It evoked a ‘yes…of course’ from her husband. My tool twitched when she said ‘enjoy me’ that was so fucking hot. From a bull perspective this is the hottest sex, when you share the nest. But it takes effort and respect to get there. She will order him about like that, make him accept you as cock of the roost, but you mustn’t ever think she will dismiss him completely. Quite rightly she needs what she has with him as much as what she gets with you. Its a hard and a soft needs thing perhaps?
Extra post. I remember that a friend of mine was bedding a married girl whom I’ll call Natalie. It had been happening for over a year and the husband ‘Roy’ was well adjusted. He used to pay for Natalie and her bull to go on holiday and freely accepted that ‘Luther’ was the man in their household. These things do leak out though and in this case that meant explaining things to Roy’s mother who was always interested in the couple. Roy had been a mummy’s boy when he was younger. Mum found out about the second holiday booking for Natalie and her lover. She confronted Natalie and bless her, she calmly held her ground insisting that sweet as Roy was he wasn’t the sort to father her kids. She wanted Luther to give her a baby and had made Roy accept that this would be the way of things. It hadn’t happened yet, but once Roy was more open with close friends about the menage a trios, Nat would come off the pill. The pronouncement shocked the mother, but she did take it on board, going out to lunch with Natalie and Luther a week or two later. She conceded how sexy the couple seemed and said that Roy was obviously content to live differently.
For me that was breathtaking. I couldn’t imagine how a parent would handle that, unless I guess a mother had cuckolded her husband in the past as well. But it does indicate how far integration sometimes has to stretch!
Though my wife and I have no plans on having kids, I definitely caught the racial aspect of this cuckolding article. We’ve been openly discussing cuckolding for 3+ years and she recently floored me with a suggestion. She asked me if I wouldn’t mind her having a black boyfriend. I can’t even describe how turned-on I was. I thought I was hot to begin with and she just sent me over the edge with that one. Wives + sexual freedom = awesome!
Time perhaps now to pick up on Luvr’s caveat above-that all family circumstances are different. In his post he asserts that having a bull share the nest doesn’t threaten a stable marriage. I think that this point might be a little simplistic because there are some issues to consider and these about how stability in marriage is sustained. My point would be that a bull can unwittingly stress a marital relationship and that he has a responsibility to contribute something to the health of the marriage. Some guys get into the bull lifestyle purely for hedonistic pleasure, to get one over the married guy (hell, red blooded competitiveness is normal). But if a relationship is to be sustained, if he is to rule the nest, then the bull does have responsibilities.
Stress arises because the bull is superior in bed (contrasts) and he may be superior as company as well. Dates out with a charismatic bull turn the lady’s head. Her husband seems ‘pathetic’. Listening to this comparison as a bull is flattering, but it carries a concern undertone. The hotwife needs to be encouraged to do something with that patheticness-to rule the beta male, and to eroticize that. Its a key transition if she is to live as the lady between two males. The marriage gets redefined, with her as mistress. Cuck might be really ready for that, but she needs to be as well, to be confident, even arrogant enough to enjoy it. Its a tough call when she has been socialized to be monogamous. Shared agreement about that sort of thing are part of what sustains the marriage.
Time to report a little progress on sexual integration. As posted above my girl has been busy getting her husband used to the fact that i rule the nest now. Her hub sleeps in a box room down the corridor with a baby intercom sound system hooked up so she can have him listen to the fucking when she wants. He’s allowed to masturbate whilst listening, so a quid pro quo balance is struck.
Just how confident she is though is indicated by the fact that she had him tell his Mum that I am the man of the house too. It shocked me I admit it. But there is history here. Margaret (Mum) had an affair and her husband couldn’t cope with it, so she told him to leave. She is a very steely woman and likes my girl a lot. Apparently she wasn’t especially surprised by the arrangement and told her son, ‘at least you show flexibility…your father didn’t!’
Now the plan is that I stay over with the three of them at Christmas and we live the new arrangement indoors. Its not something I think will be easy. No matter how cool Margaret is about this, the fact that I’m humiliating her son will always be there in the back of her mind surely? Perhaps she really does think women should set the arrangements (Luvr’s post seems more about getting kids easy with things)? Perhaps my girl is getting what Margaret wanted, a stable emotional bond with a less sexual male and a proper hard on sex life with someone more physical?
My girl insists that it will be fine. She has shown Margaret pics of she and I on holiday. She insists that she has reassured hub in other ways, that she still loves him too. He gets to carve the turkey, but that’s about the limit. She is sexually off limits to him all holiday and the intercom stays on every night.
At my girl’s suggestion I rang Margaret yesterday and told her that we should meet. We should snare a lunch date and I wanted her to wear the little black leather skirt that my girl thought she looked good in. The rationale was clear enough-both Margaret and I needed to feel comfy with one another before the holiday. ‘Make her submit to you, be your growly self’ my girl said, ‘I don’t want you fucking her too, but hubby needs to see that she defers to you from the off.’ I rang Margaret and she quickly agreed to our date. She said that it was OK, she adored her daughter in law. She supported ‘our thing’. I told her to tart herself up for the meet.
Margaret is prettier than her pics suggest, slim and pale blue eyed. She talks in this soft demure voice, with a Scottish lilt. The leather skirt makes a nice feature of her pert little ass-she certainly isn’t steely with me though. She is instinctively respectful and we talk. We talk a good deal. She isn’t surprised that my girl is mistress of the house, that she rules her husband. Margaret ruled her sons-decisively, needfully, just to test herself. Perhaps her son was conditioned to this, always likely to seek out a cuckold lifestyle. ‘Then’ she said, ‘I needed to be ruled and my husband never managed that’. I nodded. Christmas is going to be fine. Margaret will cement it all.
Given my post about Natalie above and the reflections just shared, I admit it, I’m in completely new territory as regards integration of a parent into the cuck lifestyle household. Margaret sent around some roses, a thank you for taking her out to lunch and being so forthright. She didn’t say it direct, but the mare is turned on silly by this. I feel emboldened by the influence I have over her too. My girl wants me to take total charge, to be a growly authoritarian daddy-the Victorian stern alpha male in the household. She has shared a conversation with Margaret where she has told her that she must treat us as the alpha couple of the household. Where next…as I say, this is stretching my experience to date?
I play with the idea of having Margaret lick well exercised pussy. I am pretty sure that my girl would handle it, and that Margaret would comply. But its the other dynamic that I need to consider. How my girl manages hubby when he realises that his Mum is submitting too. Seeing his wife as even more alpha-as elite could be mind blowing. He won’t necessarily see it calmly in terms of exploration, sexuality examined.
All this could be way too fast. This isn’t a fantasy. It has consequences attached. My girl has made big progress, she is quite the madam now. But is she ready for this? Of course I encourage to be a spoilt little bitch, to insist on things, but you need to know that even arrogant bulls have doubts about the management of relationships. In the end, I will probably have to see how the next days pan out. How they act towards one another. But if Margaret is completely submissive to my girl, if she treats her as mistress…
The girls went shopping yesterday-despite the Christmas rush. Madam was bought new patent leather boots, a designer leather pencil skirt and some frankly provocative lingerie by Margaret, the woman she referred to as her ‘maid’. I’m stiff thinking about my bossy little bitch in the new gear. Any new clothes for Margaret I wondered- well no-but my girl has dictated the sort of tarty things Margaret must wear over the holiday. It will change her look, change her personae, how she ‘can be’ around us. She must look ‘available’. I am surprised by my girl’s incisive reasoning and wonder what on earth her husband will wear?
I’ve moved in for Christmas and the girls are looking hot. My girl is dressed in that sophisticated bitch get’s the best attire. Margaret looks a bit more trampy, the look of a woman who is a slut and always eager to please. Margaret is completely submissive to the mistress of the house, it is very arousing. She is told to prepare a light lunch and to bring in drinks for her mistress and I. The meal is perfect, nicely served on bone china and Margaret sweeps the stuff away silently whilst my girl and i plan out the days ahead.
Husband is nowhere to be seen-he’s been assigned to the golf course. It gives space for my girl to show her authority with Margaret. We are seated on the sofa, when with just a look from my girl, Margaret is directed to a ‘party piece’. She slides down onto the deep pile carpet and starts to lick my girl’s boots. Somewhere inside I want to laugh, somewhere inside I want to fuck my girl immediately. The two emotions collide. But this is ritual, this is submission and what experience I have rescues me. I give my girl the ‘I’m so impressed look’ and she beams back, there is school girl excitement in her look. She has worked a magic.
This is going to lead to sex, its inevitable. My girl though gestures again and Margaret moves to the fly of my chinos. ‘ Margaret begged for this…you know that don’t you’ my girl whispers. She holds my shaft steady and Margaret starts to suck. ‘It’s her treat for being such a good little maid’.
You can only analyse so much in these circumstances, but this post isn’t just a dirty little story. I find myself wrestling with the physical sensations, but more still the development of my girl. She is the consummate mistress and that does my head in. As a bull you can think of yourself as a trainer. But I’m not training now. My girl has been doing the training. ‘Cum in her mouth darling…I promise, she will swallow.’
I try to hold back and honestly I can’t. My tool jolts and Margaret struggles to accommodate the movement. There are little whimpers, gasps, the search for quick breath and then she is doing it-taking down the jizz.
No one ever writes about the next moments..after the act. I must though, as this thread is meant to inform. Margaret isn’t embarrassed. She looks up, her blue eyes serious. ‘Please don’t be shocked…you are both beautiful’ she whispers. I am caught out by her honesty. You role play these things normally, dominant male writ large, submissive supplicant. I respond, ‘and you are surprising’. It’s too nice a set of words, too egalitarian, but she smiles her thanks quickly. Searching for authority again I say, ‘We’re going upstairs a while..you can bring drinks up in half an hour.’ ‘Of course’ she smiles.
The evening proved decidedly more difficult. When my girl’s cuck got home he was edgy having taken a hiding at golf. My girl was keen to establish etiquette from the off, but telling him that winners needed losers, wasn’t so subtle. His face flushed up and even those I loomed large there I thought for a second he was going to cut up rough. The contemptuous words were spoken in front of Margaret too and it was almost too much for the guy. My girl rescued it quickly though, telling hubby to unpack my clothes and set them out in the wardrobe of the master bedroom. Margaret just stared as he did that, stamping upstairs to deal with my bag.
Margaret shouldn’t have tried her mumsy conversation then, he was too raw. But the thing is, that integration takes those conversations too. It doesn’t always go sweetly. We heard them talking upstairs and I heard him ask whether I was fucking Margret as well. He was really struggling and Margaret was short fused as well. She snapped that she would fuck with me if her mistress dictated. She insisted then that it was ‘vulgar’ to discuss such matters. Just listen and learn was the order of the holiday.
Bad tempered hubby took a shower and an hour later my girl had him dress her as she and I were going out to drinks. I watched him roll up the stockings and clip the suspender belt. He sucked her fingers as she likes him to do and then she said sharply that Magaret was her maid now, so he would need to spend time cooling down. She locked up his cock-something that she hasn’t done for weeks and weeks. I could tell that she was cross that he wasn’t accommodating things quickly.
Great night out-my girl was on fire dancing-she loves the idea of our sort of holiday. I want to take her so bad, but she is up for a further burst of control before we retire. ‘You must make my husband suck your cock’ she said quietly, seriously, ‘and I will have Margaret do her sexual maid thing.’ ‘He won’t.. he’s not ready’ I suggest. ‘He IS ready’ she replies.
Back home my girl leads Margaret up to her bedroom and then stands before her, pulling up the hem of her skirt. ‘Get on with it…’ curt, perfect. How many cuckold movies has she been watching? I watch Margaret minister to her, hesitantly at first, but then with enthusiasm as the smell of my girl’s wet sex overwhelms her. It is so erotic, the control of the woman.
I go down to the bunk room where cuck hubby is lying awake. He seems calm and I take out my tool, semi erect, it points at him. He murmurs, ‘please no..I can’t’. Its what I expected. ‘Your mistress expects you to, during the holidays.’ He sidles across and licks my bell end. It’s all he manages, his face is contorted with disgust and shame. I say, ‘We have to start somewhere…but when your mistress watches you have to do better-right?
I return to the master bedroom where my girl is so aroused from her prep. She giggles…’I told you he would suck it. Now my pussy wants it…all’. Am I ready for the full thing? Probably…but the holiday is confronting me with new thoughts hour by hour. This isn’t straightforward. This is too fast-the guidance above suggests a gradual adjustment and that’s what I would recommend. Lots of conversations, lots of consultation.
‘Shall I turn the intercom off-the poor guy is locked up remember’ I say.
‘No…leave it on, I want him to hear us’
‘That’s cruel right…really hard’
‘But I am hard, I’m a cruel bitch, right.’
7 am Christmas morning-Merry Christmas to all who read these posts. My head was a bit fuzzy from the drink last night and from the concerted sex my girl and I had shared during the night. She would burn your fingers right now, she is a complete vixen.
To my astonishment cuck hubby creeps into the bedroom and without knocking. That’s usually a censure offence, but he comes bearing gifts, one for his mistress and one for me. The presents are wrapped up with elaborate ribbons, really nicely done things. It’s not his style I think. But I watch my girl start to unwrap the present as I sip the coffee supplied. It’s a Cartier watch, smart, elegant and sophisticated. It fits perfectly on her pretty wrist and he quietly explains that he had the bracelet sized from one of her other watches. She kisses him eagerly, it is a big surprise and very generous. He doesn’t earn as much as she does, its a major outlay. Watching them embrace, seeing the warmth between them is amazing. I realise afresh that a skilled hotwife runs two threads-the companion one with the beta male and the physical one with her dom. If my girl could bottle this nous, this know how, it would sell huge. Its the reasoning of the instinctual woman- the woman who manages men.
I open my gift and am pleasantly surprised to find the matching time piece. Again it fits on my wrist perfectly because he has checked out the bracelet of a chronometer I left lying around one day. The symbolism is obvious-we are a couple and he’s accepting that. Not a couple to replace their marriage, but the alpha couple through and within their marriage.
His next move is spontaneous and completed with a grimace on his face. He pulls back the sheet to reveal my member and without a word lifts it and places the bell end into his mouth. The sensation is brilliant-feeling my girl against my chest, seeing her hand stroke his hair as he starts to suck my cock.
‘That’s a good boy….you really are a darling. Now suck nicely, I want Jezz’s spunk inside me, not down the back of your greedy throat.’
You always worry about being bitten-about being scratched or hurt. But the feeling passes as the sensation of sucking takes over. It’s as if he has been a sissy suck all his life and now he is licking my balls. He licks like dogs do when they attend their own genitals, attentively and precisely. I cannot adequately describe how that feels and looks-with your girl looking on.
I want to push him off and get to fucking immediately, but my girl is loving this.
‘You see why I prefer Jezz don’t you, you can taste it, feel it.’
He’s still sucking-wet and noisy now. He still grimaces but he’s committed to the task.
‘But I guess this helps doesn’t it darling, after you’ve listened to him taking me again and again last night. Its the thought of it jagging inside me. Can you taste me on Jezz?’
I can’t stand anymore of this. I say to my girl that she should unlock the guy for good behaviour and let him jerk his load watching us fuck. She accepts that and releases his dinky.
The sex is the hottest and hardest I have known in a good long while. I don’t mind him watching. Its as if we are intimate as three, as if a rubicon has been passed and now there is nothing that HAS to be secret or private. Its just a case of my girl and I deciding to have him join us when we chose.
I think it appropriate now to try and sum up what the holiday has been teaching about integration. Before I do so though let me share with you that Christmas day was like something out of a time capsule-going back to more deferential times. Margaret drew a bath for her mistress after we had finished coupling and licked pussy before my girl stepped into the water. I sent cuck down to clean my shoes and watched my girl’s maid dress her, combing her hair and painting her nails. It was slow, luxurious and considered. I asked my girl if this felt like role play, if she thought Margaret was pretending? She thought only in part..deep down Margaret was a submissive any girl was good at spotting those. We were waited hand on foot all day long.
I wanted a private time with my girl’s cuck, to check out that he was coping OK and that’s where my reflection starts. I ventured, ‘it really turns you on, having a mistress doesn’t it…?’ He nodded. but you don’t quite understand why?’ I am eager to help him accommodate the change, for it to help them in what they are doing. Its been one hedonistic buzz for me, but my Christmas gift is some facilitated insight.
‘She is perfect, so self possessed, she has always been that way. Her mother said how headstrong she was as a child, she bossed about two younger brothers. She’s used to having her own way and I’ve always been drawn to that.’
I told him how appealing I found that too. I like arrogant bitches and his mistress was becoming a bitch of the first order. Her arrogance was like a challenge to me and i wanted to make her submit. This was part of it wasn’t it, a woman behaving in the same way to provoke quite different male reactions-something that went with their instincts. The more the intelligent hotwife recognised this, the more she used it to explore the consensual sexual lifestyle.
‘I hate it and adore it when she humiliates me- especially with you. I need it and it has taken years to confide that fully to her. She does it instinctively, much of the time, putting me down and then demanding oral afterwards. Its our hottest sex.’
‘What about sucking cock?’
This is clearly the worst thing of all, but his mistress’s totem of complete control. She has been insisting for weeks that he can trust me, that I won’t take her away from him but that I am dominant. He has to submit to me before her. She has been getting harder about this, weaning him off the needful cunnilingus, until he learns to suck cock. After all, what did he think he was licking out of her some evenings anyway? Margaret was a tool to that determined end-she would lick pussy, there were fewer opportunities now for cuck husband. He had to become my man.
I realise then that this change, this integration has been like an iceberg. I have seen only the above sea level portion and it shakes me. I’ve been way too proud, thinking that I understood and influenced such a lot. So much of what has gone on, that which has been psychologically prepared for has been at the manicured hands of my girl. She sometimes says, ‘I WILL be mistress in my own home’ and i now understand the deeper nuances of this. She doesn’t just mean that she will rule her husband and insist on installing me, she means that she will create a household where her rules dictate lifestyle.
There is a steel hard resolve inside my girl and perhaps that is a key ingredient of integration. Yes, there are hot wives who wish simply to submit to an animal lust male, but for integration to work, the hotwife must become mistress of the home. What starts out feeling like role play, a laughable game at times, becomes the natural way to live in this place. It’s so important, and when I tell my girl that we should keep Margaret on as maid, have her visit for weekends of subservience, she climaxes so hard. This control, this elitism is hard wired into my girl’s psyche. She isn’t a monster, she isn’t a harlot, she is living in the way that she has learned all these years-controlling others, especially men, when they showed weakness and a readiness to serve.
At first, integration always seems in some sense ‘strange’, a bit cack handed. Its as if you have to concentrate so hard on agreeing the rules, following the etiquette, that it feels as though it can never be complete. Then though, you get breakthrough moments such as Christmas morning. Cuck sucked cock and the pretence fell away. He was never, ever going to like this, but it was something so needful between them. Doing it, recognising it, talking about it, becomes key. How many conversations was my girl having with her husband. How often was she arousing him with her increased sexual arrogance-I can’t say, but they were frequent. Teasing, off hand and short conversations that told him he was still in her web. She needed him to be as much as he needed to be there.
Through the frequent passing conversations, the gestures, the symbolic and sensual acts, integration happens, moment by moment.
Passed on from an email received…
Dear Jezz,
Thank you for spending Christmas here and making Emily’s holiday complete. We have known you a few months now and you have brought the best out in my wife. I think of her as my mistress now-when we are out and about as well as when we are at home. I am addicted to her arrogance. I know that I am weak, that I am addicted to her sex. But you have shown Emily how to manage that-having me lick her out regularly. Oral is our intimacy- when I worship her sex. I have to concede now that you do the fucking.
I’ve been directed to write about sucking your cock. Frankly..I hate it. I know that you handle this with consideration, that you don’t force the issue. But it’s never easy. I just about cope when I suck her juices off your shaft-then your cock is the surface where I find that which obsesses me. Emily likes watching that, but she insists too that I must practice sucking you extra hard so that you service her to the limit. That sort of fellatio is the deepest submission sort and I know that it bonds us. It’s my way of showing you that she is yours. But it is deeply humiliating. Emily insists on it though, I won’t be allowed to attend you both unless I offer you this service.
To say that Christmas taught me a lot would be an understatement. It was hard enough having Mummy know that you fuck Emily, but then seeing her too in the thrall of my mistress was shattering. There are so many niceties, so many lifestyle rules to work out again. My mistress seems so calm, so assured with Mummy. Its a complex thing and Emily’s simple explanation that Margaret accepts that she is ‘top bitch’ doesn’t begin to explain it.
I had several difficult conversations with Mummy. What a shock to learn that she and daddy separated when he would not accept her affair. I had never seen her as radical about sex. She insisted that she still loved my father, that he simply had to learn to share. She insisted that she liked that in me, that I share Emily with you. It’s an unequal sharing OK, but she likes that. She says that you are a natural, a physical couple…that I should admire that. Daddy would have been second string to Andreas in bed too it seems.
Mummy takes the view that we are exploring-her and Emily’s relationship, hers and yours. She calmly admits that she will do whatever Emily directs. Its said with such a terrible certainty in her eyes. Its as if she has been waiting for something like this all those years.
James
Another email received…
Dear Jezz,
Emily rang to say that she wanted me to take her to the sales and I’ve now done that paying for some things that she thinks you will love her wearing. She is utterly beautiful, utterly beguiling, no wonder you took her off my son. Its just so fortunate that she reserves something back for James, that she feeds his needs to be subjugated. This is a magic of it all, when everyone understands their sexuality and it works with the needs of others. You can never assume that this magic always works can you?
A mother often wonders how a son will turn out, whether what she does or says will shape him in some important way. Did James always need to be submissive? Did Emily teach him to be that, because of her requirements? We could fathom a long time couldn’t we!
The holidays were breathtaking- you are completely beautiful with Emily and you remind me so much of Andreas. He was very much ‘the man’ and such a contrast to my husband. There was no if but and may be with him, he said that he wanted me and that he would teach my spouse to cope, when I was ready to have him raise the subject. I’m afraid that my darling husband never was ready- it terrified him that I had to be (physically) with a more aggressive man.
James though has a presence of mind and he is utterly devoted to Emily. He will do all that she says. Being part of this is special for me. I’ve assured Emily that I will support you both in any way possible. We are outrageous I know, but this is so sexy don’t you think?
Mags
I cannot wait for us to have an actual boyfriend that is integrated in many aspects of our lives. This gives me positive hope that it could happen, even though at the present it seems challenging to say the least. 🙂
We are excited for you too! I hope that integration is successful for you and your family! It can be very rewarding. We find that it has been such a relief to finally be able to live the way that it feels natural to us. Good luck! I hope you keep us updated on your adventure!
That was an extremely well written article and it has been very helpful to us as we discussed entering the cuckold lifestyle. The article hammered home many strong points, one that was of particular interest to us was about public dating. It is very encouraging to hear from cuckold couples and to hear how they make the dynamics of their marriage and family work, but it would also be great to see them out in public as a fine example. As we desire a long term relationship, boyfriend integration is practically necessary to allow enough quality time and to share more intimately. Boyfriend integration would allow more trust and confidence to be established, opening the way to more intensity. There were also many great comments posted, including the boyfriend integration into more extended family, like the parents of the hotwife and/or cuckold. Also comments about enhancing the nest are great, and adding a dresser for the Bull/Boyfriend and a cuckold bed to the master bedroom are great ideas. Most of all, this content has been very empowering and has explained how to remove perceived barriers and embrace boyfriend integration and allow for a harmonious cuckold environment.